The Pocket Knife Cure.

Joe’s brother, Bert and Bert’s wife, Mildred, stopped by for a visit the other day.  When they walked in, I noticed that Bert had some kind of a boil or goiter or something on the side of his face but I didn’t say anything.  Joe was napping in his chair when they arrived and just kind of woke up off and on during their visit.

I told Bert that I could definitely see a family resemblance between he and Joe and Bert said, “Yeah, but we all know who’s the handsomer of the two…”

Joe didn’t even open his eyes when he said, “Yeah…ME.”

I asked our guests if I could get them anything, like coffee or tea, or something sweet…

Bert perked up right away:  “Got any ice cream?”  I smiled and said, “Now I DEFINITELY see a family resemblance.”

Everyone laughed.

We had a really nice visit, and before they left Bert nudged Joe to wake him up to say goodbye.  “Bye Joe.”

Joe:  “Yeah, bye Bert.”  Joe opened his eyes for a minute and said, “What the HELL is that thing on your face!”

Bert looked kind of self conscious for a second, “I’m not sure what it is.  I guess I’d better go see a doctor…”

Joe:  “You don’t need no doctor!  Just use your pocket knife to hack it off!”

Bert:  “Already tried that.”

Joe:  “Well you’d better try again cuz that thing’s gonna scare some folks.”

Dot:  “Oh Joe, leave him alone…”

Joe:  “I’m just sayin’…It’s not making you any prettier, that’s for damned sure!”

Bert chuckled:  “Thanks Joe.  I’ll keep that in mind.”

As I walked our guests to the door I told Bert, “You really should see a doctor.”

Bert just winked at me and said, “I’m going next week.  Can’t let Joe have a leg up on me in the looks department…”

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