The Tree.

Joe got up from his chair and Dot asked him where he was going.

Joe snapped:  “None of your business!”

Dot rolled her eyes and looked at me:  “He’s in another one of his moods again…”

Joe:  “I’ll be in any mood I damned well want!”

Me:  “Are you headed to the bathroom, Joe?  Follow me, I’ll show you where to go…”

Joe:  “I don’t need YOU to show me where the god-damned bathroom is!  I built this house with my own two hands [actually he hired someone to build the house, but he did help design it] so I oughta know where to take a leak!”

Me:  “Ok Joe, just go ahead.  Let me know if you change your mind…”

Joe wandered off through the kitchen, and I followed quietly behind him.  He opened the coat closet door, then he opened the front door to the house.

Joe said to himself:  “Oh hell somebody moved the bathroom again!  I guess I’ll just go behind a tree…”

Me:  “Hey wait Joe, it looks like they moved the bathroom over here…”

Joe looked at me and then looked in the direction that I was pointing:  “Those bastards.”

Me:  “I know.  I don’t know why they keep moving it around.  It doesn’t make any sense.  Here, let me help you into the bathroom…”

Joe hesitated:  “Well okay…It’s better than going behind a damned tree.  But will you do me a favor and tell those idiots to stop moving the bathroom all over place for god’s sake??”

Me:  “I will.  I’ll have a talk with them today.”

Joe:  “Either that or tell them to move a tree into the house…”

One thought on “The Tree.

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