Joe is pretty much confined to either his bed or his wheelchair these days, and he’s not happy about it!  Last night, he told me that he had to “take a leak” so I got his portable urinal ready for him.

Joe:  “What the hell is that thing?”

Me:  “It’s a urinal.”

Joe:  “Well, what am I supposed to do with it?”

Me:  “Well…you urinate in it.”

Joe:  “Urinate?”

Me:  “Yeah, you know, take a leak…”

Joe:  “Oh!  Oh yeah, that makes sense.  I don’t really need something fancy like this though.  Next time you could just bring me a coffee cup or something.”

Me:  “Okay, I’ll keep that in mind for next time…”

I helped him to get all situated, and then Dot came in the room.

Joe grinned:  “Well I guess I’ve got an audience now!”

Dot:  “We won’t look at you.  When I was in the nursing home, they tried to have me use a bed pan and then everyone just stood there and stared at me.  How are you supposed to go when people are staring at you?”

Joe:  “You didn’t use one of THESE things, Dot.”

Dot:  “Well, it was sort of like that…”

Joe laughed:  “Well no wonder you couldn’t go!  You don’t have the right stuff.”

Dot:  “The right stuff?”

Joe:  “Yeah, you know, the right equipment…to get the job done.”

Dot laughed:  “Oh yeah, I guess you’re right about that.”

Joe giggled:  “And I oughta know…”

Dot:  “Huh?  What’d you say, Joe?”

Joe winked at me and smiled:  “Nothin.”