The Neighborhood Marsupial.

Lois the FinI’m taking care of Lois tonight, and as usual she spent a solid hour calling for her cat, Baby, before bed.  This time Baby actually came into the house and circled around Lois’s legs, meowing and purring, and Lois talked to her and fed her and everything.

As I was tucking Lois into bed, I told her that I was so happy that she got to love on Baby for a while.  Lois looked at me like I was crazy and said, “I never saw Baby tonight!”

Me:  “You actually pet Baby and fed her and talked to her for about 15 minutes tonight, Lois.”

Lois:  “Oh no, you’re mistaken.  Baby got eaten up by wolves this morning.”

Me: “Well that’s too bad.  Who were you loving on in the kitchen earlier then…?”

Lois:  “Oh that was the neighborhood marsupial.”

Me:   “Marsupial?”

Lois:  “Yeah, you know, the skunk!”

Me:  “I didn’t realize that there was an official neighborhood skunk…”

Lois laughed:  “You probably just mistook him for a cat.  Don’t feel bad; it happens to everybody.”

Frisky, the Sleepy Cat.

Lois the FinMy client, Lois, is very confused tonight. First she was calling me Caroline and then I was Caroline’s friend, and for about an hour she thought I was her sister, Thelma (who has been dead for more than a decade).

I tried to remind her who I really am, but it just wasn’t working so rather than confusing her more than she already was, I just went along with it.

Her questions had more to do with my (Caroline’s/Thelma’s) pet/pets than anything else.

Lois: “How is your cat doing, Caroline? You know, the one that sleeps all the time?”

Me: “Oh he’s doing great!”

Lois: “What was his name again?”

Me: “Um…(reading cat food bag)…Frisky.”

Lois laughed: “Frisky is a funny name for a cat who sleeps all the time.”

Me: “Yeah haha I guess you’re right.”

Lois: “How old is he now?”

Me: “Um…he’s around 10 or so?”

Lois laughed: “Oh no! He’s gotta be much older than that! I’m surprised that he’s even still alive! Are you sure he’s not dead?”

Me: “Well now that you mention it, he is sleeping even more than usual…I guess I’d better check to make sure he’s breathing when I get home.”

Lois: “Yeah you’d better check because pretty soon he’ll really start stinking up the place!”


Lois and I were watching the news the other night (well, I was watching and Lois was only listening because she’s blind) and the subject of gay marriage came up.

During the commercial Lois said, “Humans are funny, funny critters…”

Me:  “What do you mean, Lois?”

Lois:  “Well, I mean, for instance – animals could give a rat’s ass if girls married girls and boys married boys, so long as everyone shares their food!”

Me:  “Yeah, I’m sure you’re right about that.”

To prove her point even further, Lois added, “Take squirrels for example.  They wouldn’t care if their squirrel neighbors were attracted to the other same-sex squirrels.  So long as everyone shares their nuts!”

I couldn’t help but laugh:  “You might want to come up with a better example than squirrels…”

Lois:  “Why?  Squirrels are the perfect example!”

Me:  “Well…I mean, maybe you should think of an animal that eats something besides nuts…”

Lois thought about it for a minute and then just howled with laughter.

Lois:  “Well, all I was trying to say is that humans are funny critters…whether they share their nuts or not!”