Mystery Perfume.

joe_dotI walked into the living room after getting the laundry going and I noticed the smell of perfume.  Joe and Dot were sitting together on the couch.

Me:  “Wow, it smells good in here!  Are you wearing perfume today Dot?”

Dot:  “No I’m not wearing perfume…Oh I know what it is!  I had a big BM in the bathroom so I sprayed some of my cheap perfume in there to cover up the smell.”

Joe and I looked at each other and started to laugh.

Joe:  “Your shit smells like a rose, Dot!”

Dot laughed:  “I always told you that girls aren’t stinky like boys.”

Joe:  “Well I’ll be darned!  I guess you were right after all!”

Grey Hair.

joe_dotAs we were all sitting together eating lunch the other day, I told Joe and Dot that I recently discovered my first grey hair.

Me:  “I was getting a haircut and when I looked down on my cape I noticed a patch of grey hair, so of course I had to stop at Fred Meyer on my way home so that I could buy a new hair color right away!”

Joe and Dot laughed.

Dot said, “When I first started turning grey I would pluck the grey hairs out with tweezers.”

Joe:  “Well you’d better not tweeze out your grey hairs now!  You’d have to pluck off your whole head!”

Dot:  “So would you!”

Joe:  “Men don’t have to cover their grey.  It just makes them look more distinguished.”

Dot rolled her eyes.

Me:  “Some men do color their hair nowadays.  There is even an entire section of hair color just for men at the store.”

Joe:  “Is that right?”

Me:  “Yep.”

Dot:  “I saw an old geezer downtown one time who had jet black hair and it just didn’t look right at all.  Especially since his eyebrows were grey.  I thought that was very suspicious.”

Joe:  “Well what was he supposed to do?  Pluck out his eyebrows?!”


Joe got his hair cut last week.  Tootsie would cut a bit and then show Dot, and Dot would say, “Go shorter.”  Poor Joe started to look a little bit worried.

Joe:  “It’s going to be too short!”

Dot:  “It looks good when it’s really short.”

Joe:  “Well I like your hair best when it’s not short, curly and gray, but I don’t make you change it!”

Dot:  “Oh Joe, just hold still and let her cut your hair.”

Tootsie did a few more snips and Joe shouted:  “Wait!  It’s winter!  I’m going to get too cold without my hair!!”

Dot smiled:  “If you get too cold then I’ll keep you warm…”

Joe:  “Did everyone hear that?”  Tootsie and I smiled and shook our heads “yes”.

Joe winked at Dot:  “Look here, Dot.  I’ve got witnesses and I’m going to hold you to that…”

Dot:  “Yeah, yeah.  Just hold still and let her cut your hair!”

Joe sat back in his chair, grinned, and happily let Tootsie snip away.