Mystery Perfume.

joe_dotI walked into the living room after getting the laundry going and I noticed the smell of perfume.  Joe and Dot were sitting together on the couch.

Me:  “Wow, it smells good in here!  Are you wearing perfume today Dot?”

Dot:  “No I’m not wearing perfume…Oh I know what it is!  I had a big BM in the bathroom so I sprayed some of my cheap perfume in there to cover up the smell.”

Joe and I looked at each other and started to laugh.

Joe:  “Your shit smells like a rose, Dot!”

Dot laughed:  “I always told you that girls aren’t stinky like boys.”

Joe:  “Well I’ll be darned!  I guess you were right after all!”

What Wedding?

I asked Joe and Dot if they had a nice time at their grandson’s wedding over the weekend.

Joe: “What wedding?”

Dot:  “Aaron’s wedding.  Remember we drove for three hours one way and the caregiver got car sick on the way home and threw up in a McDonald’s cup…?”

Joe cracked up, “Oh yeah, I remember the lady puking, but I don’t remember any wedding…”

Dot:  “Well, we went to our grandson’s wedding and you were there.  You had to have a BM in a Honey Bucket.”

Joe:  “I had a BM in WHERE?”

Dot:  “A Honey Bucket, you know, those portable toilets that construction workers use?”

Joe:  “I was doing construction…?”  Dot rolled her eyes and looked at me to help her out.

I said, “No, you weren’t doing construction, you just had to go to the bathroom in one of those outdoor toilets.”

Joe giggled:  “So, in other words, I was constructing a BM…?”

I laughed and replied, “Exactly!”

Joe looked over at Dot:  “Did your hair look like that?  At our grandson’s wedding…?”

Dot:  “Like what?”

Joe:  “Like it looks right now.  Like a poodle who licked a light socket!”

Dot felt her head:  “Oh yeah.  I got this damned perm and I HATE it!”

Joe:  “Well, what’d you get it for then?”

Dot:  “I didn’t mean to.  Toots just used tighter rollers than usual and then my head got all sweaty during the long drive and made my hair get all kinked up.”

Joe:  “I’ll say…you can’t even see any hair!”

Dot:  “Yes you can too see my hair.  Here, feel it!”

Joe felt it:  “Yep, it’s hair all right…but it looks more like yarn.”

Dot:  “Well it’s not yarn.  It’s hair.”

Joe:  “You could-a fooled me!”

I decided to try to change the conversation:  “Boy, the weather sure is nice today, isn’t it?”

Dot:  “Oh, the weather was just beautiful at Aaron’s wedding!”

George:  “What wedding…?”