Bridge Collapse.

Lois the FinLois keeps asking me about her sister who passed away more than ten years ago, and in my attempts to not have to remind Lois that her sister has died, I came up with the following diversions:

Lois:  “Can you take me to go visit Sylvia?”

Me:  “Look at how sunny it is outside! Would you like to go for a walk?”

Lois:  “Can we walk to Sylvia’s house?”

Me:  “Um…I don’t think Sylvia’s home today. Would you like me to read the newspaper to you?”

Lois:  “Well let’s call her and see if she’s home?”

Me:  “We can call your grandson…”

Lois:  “Is his name Sylvia?”

Me:  “No…”

Lois:  “Then why would I want to call him?”

Me:  “Did you hear about the bridge that collapsed in Washington? It’s on the front page of the paper. I’m from the area where it happened. I’ve driven over that bridge more times than I can even count!”

Lois:  “Did cars fall into the water?”

Me:  “Yes, 2 cars fell in the water, but no one got hurt, thank God.”

Lois: “That must be where Sylvia went. She must’ve fallen off of that bridge.”

Me:  “Oh I don’t think so, Lois.”

Lois:  “Oh I bet she did. She was a terrible driver! Now, what’s for lunch…?”

If I Only Had a Nickel.


As we drove over the bridge to go into town this afternoon Joe said, “I’ve driven over this bridge many, many times in my life. If I only had a nickel for every time I’ve driven over this bridge…”

I interrupted him to say, “You’d have a million dollars?”

Joe: “Well, I don’t know about a million dollars…. But I’d have a whole bunch of nickels. Yessiree, I’d have A LOT of nickels!”