50 Good Years.

Birthday_candlesI was trying to help Lois get ready for bed, and as usual she ran through her check list for the night; reminding me to check all of the doors to make sure that they are all locked, check on the cat to make sure she’s got enough food, turn the heat up, etc.

Lois:  “My god, there is just so much that you have to remember when you get old!”

Me:  “Yeah, I guess there is a lot to remember.”

Lois:  “I mean, seriously, don’t you think that people are living too long these days?  It would make so much more sense for God to give us 50 good years and then on our 50th birthday He should let us conk off.”

Me:  “As long as we conk off painlessly.”

Lois:  “Well of course painlessly!  I’m no martyr!”

Can’t Blame a Guy for Tryin’

You’d think that after more than a decade of helping elderly folks take a shower, I would know how to complete the process without occasionally getting soaking wet.  Joe offered a solution this morning:

Joe:  “Well, you may as well just come on in here with me.”

Me:  “I don’t think so, Joe.”

Joe:  “Why the hell not?  You’re getting all soaking wet anyway.”

Me:  “Well, for one thing, there’s not enough room.”

Joe grinned:  “I’m sure I could scoot over a bit for ya.”

Me:  “As much as I appreciate the offer, I just can’t take you up on it this time, Joe.”

Joe winked:  “Well, alright then.  Can’t blame a guy for trying’.”

I laughed:  “Nope, not at all.”