Dot:  “Joe, Father is coming over this afternoon to give us communion so you need to be on your best behavior.”

Joe:  “Whose father?  Mine’s been dead a long time so it can’t be him…”

Dot:  “No, I mean the priest.”

Joe chuckled:  “Oh ok, why didn’t you just say that in the first place?”

Dot rolled her eyes:  “Are you going to be on your best behavior?”

Joe:  “What are you talking about?  I’m always on my best behavior.”

Dot:  “No you’re not.  You cuss and swear a lot sometimes.”

Joe:  “Well, what the hell’s wrong with that?”

Dot:  “Just don’t do that when the priest is here.”

Joe said matter of factly:  “I would never cuss in front of the priest Dot.  Who do you think I am?”

Dot just gave him a look.

Joe:  “I’d never get into heaven if I did that.  I’ll just hold it in until he leaves…”


Dot told Joe this morning that he doesn’t need to go to church anymore.

Joe: “Who says?”

Dot: “Father John said so. He said that you’re old enough now and that God doesn’t require you to go to services anymore.”

Joe: “I’m not that old…”

Dot: “You’re 92 now Joe. You’re too old to sin…”

Joe laughed:  “Too old to sin? How can someone be too old to sin?”

Dot: “Well, anyhow we’re not going to church anymore. The Father will give us Communion at home from now on.”

Joe: “I’ll give you ‘too old to sin’…goddamn, jesus christ, sonofabitch…”

Dot: “Are you finished?”

Joe grinned:  “I guess so…”

Dot: “Are you sorry for saying those things?”

Joe still grinning: “No, not one bit…”

Dot: “Well, maybe we should continue going to church then…”

Joe: “That’s what I thought…”