Nothing like spending an hour putting together healthy Greek chicken pizza for our dinner (using the supplies that I paid for myself) just so that Lois can complain that it’s “okay, but I don’t know why you had to dump so much salt on it…”
I explained to her that the kalamata olives are what makes it salty, but that I used them sparingly, and the pizza is actually very healthy.
Lois: “You can explain that to the doctor after I’ve had my heart attack from all of this salt.”
Me: “I can make you something else…”
Lois: “No, no, I’ve lived long enough anyhow. Have you fed Baby?”
Me: “Yes, I put food out on the patio for her.”
Lois: “You didn’t put any of those thingamajigs in her food, did ya?”
Me: “No, of course not.”
Lois: “Are you sure? Because she’s too young for a heart attack.”
Me: “Yes, I’m sure. I just gave her soft food.”
Lois: “You didn’t pour a bunch of salt all over it, did you?”
Me: “Lois…why would I add salt to Baby’s cat food?”
Lois: “I was just making sure.”
Me: “There are no salty thingamajigs on Baby’s food.”
Lois: “Maybe I should trade her then.”
Ugh.