If I Only Had a Nickel.


As we drove over the bridge to go into town this afternoon Joe said, “I’ve driven over this bridge many, many times in my life. If I only had a nickel for every time I’ve driven over this bridge…”

I interrupted him to say, “You’d have a million dollars?”

Joe: “Well, I don’t know about a million dollars…. But I’d have a whole bunch of nickels. Yessiree, I’d have A LOT of nickels!”

Social Security.

Dot was reading the paper and saw a headline that concerned her.

She read it out loud to me: “Social Security Funds to Run Out…Oh no! That’s terrible!” she hollered, and then she asked me to read the small print for her.

“Social Security is projected to run out in 2033…” I read aloud.

Dot: “Oh, 2033 you say?”

I nodded.

“Well I’ll be dead by then so I’m not going to worry about it.”

Joe looked at me, giggled and said, “Sorry about your luck!”

Hobbies.

Dot was telling me about one of the other caregivers and how good she is at crafting. She asked me if I’m a “Crafter” and told her that I think that crafting is really cool, but it’s not one of my talents.

Dot felt the need to lift my spirits then and said, “Well that’s ok because you have other talents…like cooking!”

Joe piped in then and said, “And I’ll tell you what…if I had to choose between being good at that crafting business or being good at cooking…I’d choose cooking – cuz you can eat that.”

Blinding Light

Joe is fascinated with my sunburn.

I’m wearing shorts today and he says, “I just can’t figure it out…”

Me:  “What’s that, Joe?”

Joe:  “Well, I’m looking at your leg here,” he points at my shin, “and it’s bright red.  Then you get to the knee and it’s so white it about burns your eyes!”

I laughed and said, “Gee Joe, thanks for noticing.”

Joe: “That’s what I’m here for.”

Wedding Day.


When I came into work this morning I told Joe that he was “looking pretty sharp” today.  He said, “Really?  Well, how do you suppose that happened?”  Dot said, “Well, you’re wearing a new outfit that Shelly (their daughter) bought for you and you look really handsome in it!”  Joe grinned from ear to ear and said, “I’ll be damned!  I haven’t heard you call me ‘handsome’ in as long as I can remember!”  Dot said, “Well, I married you, didn’t I?!”  I laughed and added, “Yeah Joe, if Dot walked down the aisle to marry you, she must not have thought you were half bad…”  Joe thought about it for a minute and said, “Yeah well, she didn’t turn around at least…”