As some of you know, I wrote a song many moons ago that quickly turned me into a One Hit Wonder. It is a song called, “Run From the Moose”.
Last week I took my guitar with me to work so that I could serenade Lois with my (very limited) singer/songwriter abilities, and I wasn’t sure how she would react.
Well, as it turned out, Lois LOVED it, so I will definitely need to pack my guitar to work with me from now on. Her reaction to “Run From the Moose” created quite an uproar though, I must say!
I played the song from start to finish, and once it was over I smiled and said, “The End.”
Lois (her face showing every kind of shock and awe imaginable): “DID YOU WRITE THAT SONG?!”
Me: “Yep, I sure did. It is the first song that I ever wrote as a matter of fact.”
Lois: “Have you trademarked that song yet?!”
Me: “No I haven’t.”
Lois: “OH MY GOD YOU HAVE TO TRADEMARK THAT SONG!! Has anyone else heard it?”
Me: “Yes, I’ve played this song at least a hundred thousand times (maybe a slight exaggeration). All over the world even!”
Lois looked defeated: “Well then I’m sure that someone has already stolen your song and trademarked it for themselves.”
I laughed: “No, I don’t think so, Lois.”
Lois: “ARE YOU KIDDIN’? How much you wanna bet that someone out there is a millionaire right now because they stole YOUR song?”
Me: “Lois, it’s okay really, no one has stolen my song.”
Lois: “Well you’re being pretty naive about it if you ask me…”
I tried to change the subject: “Sure is getting cold out there, isn’t it? What happened to our summer?”
Lois: “WELL YOU’D BETTER GET A TRADEMARK ON THAT SONG RIGHT AWAY!!”
She shouted so loudly that it actually startled me.
Me: “Okay Lois, I will get a trademark put on my moose song.”
Lois: “You’d better do it right now! Before someone steals it!”
Me: “Okay, I will go on my computer right now and figure out how to put a trademark on it.”
Lois shrugged: “Well, it’s probably too late anyhow. I’m sure that someone already stole it from you.”
Me: “I can check on the Internet to see if someone stole it from me too. Just give me a minute to do a search, okay?”
Lois: “It’s such a shame. Such a waste of a brilliant song.” Lois hung her head and looked like she was about to cry.
I got my computer out and quickly pretended to do a search about “Run From the Moose” so that I could give Lois the good news.
Me: “Okay Lois, I just searched on Google and so far NO ONE has stolen my song.”
Lois: “Are you SURE about that?! And what is this boggle thing you’re talking about…?”
Me: “It’s called ‘Google’ and it’s the place where you go to look for things on the computer, and yes, I’m sure that no one has stolen ‘Run From the Moose’. I’m trademarking it for myself right as we speak and…TUH-DAH! It’s trademarked under my name now. Just like that.”
Lois looked very suspicious: “Well your computer thing-a-ma-jiggy is lying to you.”
Me: “What do you mean, Lois?”
Lois: “Because I KNOW FOR A FACT that someone else recorded that song on an album already.”
Me (trying not to laugh): “Is that so…and which album is that?”
Lois: “Well, I can’t remember the name of the album…let me think…ummmm…WOODY GUTHRIE!”
I wanted to pee my pants just for the mere mention of Woody Guthrie and myself in the same conversation.
Me: “You think that Woody Guthrie stole my song and recorded it on one of his records huh?”
Lois: “No, never mind, it wasn’t Woody Guthrie…It was…” Lois started to scratch her head with both hands and she tried to summon up the name that was on the tip of her tongue.
Finally she shouted out, “BOB DYLAN!!”
Holy Crap, my head was getting bigger by the minute.
Me, once again trying to change the subject: “How about I play you another song now? I can play one that you can sing along to. Do you know ‘You are my Sunshine?’ how about I play that song?”
Lois: “Well alright. Just don’t go playing another Bob Dylan song and trying to trick me into thinking that you wrote it…”
Me: “Oh I won’t Lois. I promise. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…”
Lois: “You make me HA-P-P-PPY when somethin’, somethin’, somethin’…”