The Tractor.

While we were eating lunch today, how do I say this nicely…

Joe passed a little gas.

In hopes that Dot didn’t hear it (since her bad ear was nearest to the event) I pretended like I didn’t notice.

Apparently Joe needed some recognition in that moment, because he giggled and said, “Yoo-hoo!”

Dot looked up at him: “What do you need Joe?”

Joe grinned from ear to ear and said, “Did you hear that Dot?”

Dot craned her head to look outside the window: “Was that the tractor?”

Joe, still grinning from ear to ear shook his head “No”.

Dot said (and I wanted to die laughing): “It sounded like James (their son) just started up the tractor…”

I was trying so hard not to meet Joe’s eyes, but then I thought better of it and tried not to smile when I gave him a look that said: “Don’t do it…!”

Joe was practically bouncing on his chair with excitement when he said, “Nope. It wasn’t no tractor…”

I practically buried my head in my bowl of soup at this point to keep from laughing. It was too late to stop him.

Joe:  “Wanna know what it was Dorothy?” Joe was smiling so big when Dot looked at him that I’m pretty sure she figured it out before he announced proudly: “It was a FART!”

It took everything that I had in me to keep my taco soup from shooting out of my nose, but I managed to hold it in.

“Oh Joe…” Dot shook her head in disapproval and went right back to her lunch.  Joe started laughing so hard that his whole body was shaking, but once he realized that Dot was determined to have no reaction to what he just said, he quietly went back to eating his soup.

Of course, just when I thought I was safe, Joe made eye contact with me and winked.

I quickly excused myself from the table, and headed to the bathroom where I could shut the door and double over with laughter. Once I composed myself I walked back to the table.

Joe was sitting there with the proudest look on his smiling face. “See Dot? That girl thought it was funny…!”

Dot made a noise that was something between a grunt and a chuckle before she said, “Joe, just stop playing around and eat your soup!”

Skip to the Cookie.

Dot: “Joe, eat your sandwich!”

Joe: (stares at sandwich in silence.)

Dot: “It’s grilled cheese – your favorite!”

Joe in quiet defiance:  “I don’t want to…”

Dot: “If you eat your sandwich I’ll let Whitney give you a cookie for dessert.”

Joe grinned:  “How ’bout we just skip to the cookie right now?”

Dot: “Just eat your sandwich!”

This goes on for 10 more minutes, until I say, “Dot, he did eat most of his soup…”

Dot looked into his soup bowl:  “Oh alright then. Take his sandwich away and give him half a cookie.”

Joe downed his cookie while grinning at Dot the whole time.

Dot: “Too bad you only got half of a cookie…”

Joe winked at me:  “Half of a cookie is better than no cookie at all!”