What Wedding? (Part 2)

Joe and Dot’s daughter came over the other day and dropped off a few photos from her son’s wedding.

Dot was so excited to show me the pictures when I got here this morning, so I sat at the kitchen table with her and Joe while we looked at them.

When it was Joe’s turn to look, he got a little bit confused…

Joe: “Hey Dot, you’re in this picture!”

Dot: “Yeah I know. So are you.”

Joe: “I am? Where?”

Dot: “That’s you sitting right next to me.”

Joe: “Is that right? I’ll be darned…it IS me! Where were we at Dot?”

Dot: “We were at the wedding.”

Joe laughed: “Are you pulling my leg Dot? Don’t you think I would remember being at my own wedding?!”

Dot: “It wasn’t our wedding. It was Aaron’s wedding…”

Joe looked like he was about to cry: “Hey wait a minute… I thought you were married to me!”

Dot: “I am married to you! Aaron is our grandson…”

Joe laughed again: “Oh yeah! Aaron…that’s right.”

Dot: “He got married a couple of weeks ago, and these are the pictures from his wedding.”

Joe looked confused: “Was I there…?”

Dot pointed at the picture: “Yes, you were there. See? You’re in this picture standing with the bride and groom.”

Joe looked closely at it: “I don’t think that’s me, Dot.”

Dot: “Of course it’s you! Who else would it be?”

Joe: “This is a picture of an old man. I’m not that old.”

Dot: “Yes you are that old. You’re 92!”

Joe gave me a look that said, “Will you get a load of this crap?” Then he explained, “Dot, when we were married I was a young man.”

Dot: “Yeah, you were young then. But now you’re old, and so am I…”

Joe: “Well I’ll be damned…How the hell did that happen?”

I piped in and said, “It happens to all of us one day, Joe.”

Joe grinned: “Yep. I suppose you’re right about that…”

Dot: “Do you want to see the rest of the pictures from the wedding now?”

Joe: “What wedding…?”

What Wedding?

I asked Joe and Dot if they had a nice time at their grandson’s wedding over the weekend.

Joe: “What wedding?”

Dot:  “Aaron’s wedding.  Remember we drove for three hours one way and the caregiver got car sick on the way home and threw up in a McDonald’s cup…?”

Joe cracked up, “Oh yeah, I remember the lady puking, but I don’t remember any wedding…”

Dot:  “Well, we went to our grandson’s wedding and you were there.  You had to have a BM in a Honey Bucket.”

Joe:  “I had a BM in WHERE?”

Dot:  “A Honey Bucket, you know, those portable toilets that construction workers use?”

Joe:  “I was doing construction…?”  Dot rolled her eyes and looked at me to help her out.

I said, “No, you weren’t doing construction, you just had to go to the bathroom in one of those outdoor toilets.”

Joe giggled:  “So, in other words, I was constructing a BM…?”

I laughed and replied, “Exactly!”

Joe looked over at Dot:  “Did your hair look like that?  At our grandson’s wedding…?”

Dot:  “Like what?”

Joe:  “Like it looks right now.  Like a poodle who licked a light socket!”

Dot felt her head:  “Oh yeah.  I got this damned perm and I HATE it!”

Joe:  “Well, what’d you get it for then?”

Dot:  “I didn’t mean to.  Toots just used tighter rollers than usual and then my head got all sweaty during the long drive and made my hair get all kinked up.”

Joe:  “I’ll say…you can’t even see any hair!”

Dot:  “Yes you can too see my hair.  Here, feel it!”

Joe felt it:  “Yep, it’s hair all right…but it looks more like yarn.”

Dot:  “Well it’s not yarn.  It’s hair.”

Joe:  “You could-a fooled me!”

I decided to try to change the conversation:  “Boy, the weather sure is nice today, isn’t it?”

Dot:  “Oh, the weather was just beautiful at Aaron’s wedding!”

George:  “What wedding…?”